Opportunity

 

  O is for Opportunity

In 2014, when I was wallowing in my grief of having to leave teaching due to a severe bout of anxiety and depression, I decided to do something. 

That something was write.

I had written as a child. In fact my favourite subject all through school was storywriting and English. I absolutely loved writing stories. In Year 3 and 4, I would spend lunchtimes writing stories with my best friend Anne. In my 25 years of teaching, I had never seen a child do that.

As a teenager I loved writing poetry. That was my outlet. My crushes, the cruel world that bullied me, being born different, the unfairness of life, how much Jesus loved me. I was blessed to have a brilliant English teacher, Mr Kennedy, in Year 11 and 12. He encouraged me and supported me. In many ways he was my mentor.

My imagination was always vivid. As a child I believed that axe murderers would come through my window and kill me. I believed that my toys played whilst I slept. I believed that my cousin Jane and I could sew golliwogs, sell them in outback towns and become millionaires.

As well as being an avid writer, I was an avid reader. 

In 2014 little did I know that this difficulty I was experiencing - that of being forced to leave my self-identity as a teacher behind without closure - would lead to opportunity. If I could've seen the future I would've coped better with the situation! 

 

This opportunity was time. 

Time to learn. Time to develop my craft. Time to write. Time to edit. Time to join writing groups. Time to make new friends who shared my passion. Time to heal and rest and become a balanced human being.

Now here I am two years later with my debut children's novel, Ride High Pineapple.

A story I had tried to write in many different forms over the years. A story that never developed past the first five chapters or so. Why? Because how I was writing my first version was not how it was meant to go out into the world. Without the opportunity of time I would not have been able to write and rewrite my novel. 

I still have my original manuscripts which I may even go back to at some stage if I ever feel I am able to write a memoir. But this story is the one that is meant to be flying around the universe at this time. 

With Ride High Pineapple, I have been given the opportunity to raise awareness of craniofacial syndromes which most people don't know exist. I have been given the opportunity to give voice to the children and teenagers who are being bullied for being born different. I have been given the opportunity to help children and teenagers who suffer from anxiety. I have been given the opportunity to tell some of my story. I have been given the opportunity to give people hope. 

This probably wouldn't have happened if I was still a stressed, burnt out teacher.  

I see this opportunity as another stepping stone in the plan God has for my life. For 25 years I was meant to teach and care for children. There have been spurts through those times when I was in magazines, in the newspaper and on TV where my story was exposed a bit and a few layers of my sensitivity towards being born with a different face were peeled off. Now I have the self-confidence and assurance in who I am to further educate people. It was a tough gig being born in the sixties with a craniofacial syndrome... and it's still a tough gig today for those growing up. People are cruel and bullies are everywhere. The media's obsession with looks doesn't help the situation. 

I will gratefully take this opportunity I have been given and run with it. 

Is there an opportunity you too can run with?     

I want to encourage you. We all have difficulties. Life is full of ups and downs. No one escapes unscathed. Take that difficulty and make it into an opportunity or if an opportunity presents itself - take it. The opportunity can be something simple like being a compassionate ear, or it can be something substantial like changing careers. You never know what blessings will come from it or who you will bless in the process.

Jump out and dive in!

Ride High Pineapple is available as an ebook or paperback on Amazon.com.  Ride High Pineapple on Amazon.com 

Normal

N is for Normal

Definition for Normal: conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.

***

I think about this word a lot. I ponder its meaning. When it's used to describe people, I ponder who it actually refers to... and I ponder its origins.

Why?

Because the word ‘normal’ infuriates me.

In fact I hate hearing it and I hate using it. But you know what? I find this word popping out of my mouth and I want to slap myself in the face. I quickly change the word ‘normal’ to ‘regular’ – but what does that mean???

Why do I feel this way? Because 'normal' is a word that I have heard in a negative context for my entire life. For 48 years I have heard it oozing from the mouths of medical professionals in particular, in reference to myself and my children.

‘If her eye muscles were normal….’

‘If she was a normal child…’

'She is deformed, she's not normal...'

Now I am going to get on my soapbox here so either keep reading or switch off.

The definition of normal is 'typical' or 'conforming to a standard'. When referred to people it would probably be the average idea of what a human is, or what the standard reality is for people. 

There are different contexts where the word can be used to refer to people. We use the word normal in our everyday vernacular. We might say something like:

• ‘You’re not normally this quiet, is something wrong?’  or
• ‘It’s normal for us to go out every Friday night.’

I don't have a problem with the word in these instances. 
`

What I do have a problem is, when the word 'normal' is used to describe people, to exclude people, to make people feel that they're not good enough and when it's used as prejudice.

Why? Because NO ONE is normal. 

***
 

Let's take a step backward. What do you think a normal person is?

Here are some more questions to think about:

• Can normal for one person be abnormal for another person?
• What are the guidelines for being 'normal' and who set them?
• Is it the dominant culture of the society?
• Does ‘normal’ go back to the Nazis and the extermination of anyone who didn’t fit there ‘perfect’ category of people?
• Is it the media?
• Is it the powerful people in the world?

***

I grew up in a world that said I was ‘abnormal’. I was ‘deformed’. I was ‘defective’. All due to one gene mutation in my DNA that I couldn’t control. I was given this label which defined me. It made me feel like an alien in the human race. I wasn't normal so that meant that the 'normal' people in society could make fun of me and exclude me from things that other people of my age took for granted. I wouldn't say I have enjoyed being 'not normal' but I have been able to carve out my own unique life and I have been able to help other people who also fit in the world's 'not normal' bubble. Those people who are physically, psychologically or intellectually different. Those people who are considered weird or eccentric. The shy, the fearful, the strange.

My children have been given the ‘if they were normal’ labels, and this has been said in front of them. How damaging to their psyche and to their self-esteems? What gives people the right to make judgements on MY children. They are more than a mutation of a gene. They are more than a syndrome.

In our household being unique and an individual is normal. We nurture our uniqueness. I want my children to be themselves. I don’t want them conforming to what the world says they should be. If they choose to stand out then that’s fantastic. If they choose to blend it, that’s fantastic too. As long as they are doing it because that’s what they want – not from peer pressure or the controls of society and the media.

 

Look at this meme. It says it perfectly. Which one of these people is normal?

Or are they all normal because they don't look disabled?

Have you ever thought about what is normal? ... What you consider to be normal for human beings? ... What is a normal life? ... What is a normal person? ... And how did you reach these thoughts? ... Where did they come from? ... Do you think they're accurate?

I hope I have provoked some form of self-reflection on the use of this word. Let's just think about how and when the word is used. It would be much better to just be used in the following context:

Mission

 

 

M is for Mission

 

 





Have you ever thought about the word mission? What it means? If you have one? If you know someone who you would say is on a mission? Or maybe you know someone who is a missionary?

 

I hadn't really thought about the word until I decided to use it for this blog. I know people who are missionaries - men and women who purposely go to countries and communities where they help less fortunate people under the name of Jesus.

 

I've heard people say, 'So and so's mission in life was to.... maybe lessen poverty in the world, or petition governments to eliminate greenhouse gas emissions.' There are many causes people advocate for.

 

What do these people who are missionaries or are on a mission have in common?

 

What do you think? I think, it's passion.

 

These people have a passion. That passion drives what they do with their life. A tragedy, a life circumstance, a value or talent can be the motivator to start. This passion gives the person a purpose for living. It's like they are on a one-way train ride towards achieving or making a difference in their community, country or the world. The achievement of what they are working for, is a part or all of their life's work.

 

I believe a mission does not have be finite - it can change with life events or circumstances. You can see this in the many people who have tragedies in their lives and afterwards set up foundations or charities to help others in the same situation.

 

This little diagram says that mission is the reason to be and why we exist.

 

Do you have a defined mission? I set myself some goals each year and I have a general idea of why I think I've been put on this earth, so I guess I am on the way to having Jenny's mission.

 



 

I have been looking up people's personal mission statements. Here are a few:

 

Oprah Winfrey, founder of OWN, the Oprah Winfrey Network - "To be a teacher. And to be known for inspiring my students to be more than they thought they could be."

Sir Richard Branson, founder of The Virgin Group - "To have fun in [my] journey through life and learn from [my] mistakes."

 

 



So how do you decide on your mission or write a mission statement? 

 

Here are 5 steps.

1. Think about what's important to you. Consider the following areas: relationships, career, health, religion, finances, education, family.
2. Think about what you value in life. For example, a world of equality, honesty, financial security, friendships.
3. Ask yourself questions like:

Ø  When am I at my best?

Ø  What am I good at? What gifts and talents do I have?

Ø  What gets me up in the morning and what makes me want to stay in bed? What do I have a passion for?

Ø  What does my perfect day look like?

Ø What mistakes have I made so far in life that I don't want to repeat?

 

     4. Decide how long your mission statement will be for. A year, five years, ten years, the rest of your life?

     5. Write something down. Remember you can always change it.

 

  

 

Your mission can be as simple as getting out of bed in the morning. This is particularly poignant if you're suffering from anxiety and depression or grief. Or it can be a philosophical statement about how you approach your life. Or it can be dreams you hope to achieve or even your bucket list. Your mission is a personal statement - it is about you and your existence on earth. 

 

I like this acrostic poem. Each letter refers to the author's mission in life:

 

 

I thought I'd try this for myself:

 

M ake the world aware of facial differences

I nspire others to accept themselves for who they are

S hare my experiences to be an encouragement and support

S ee everyone as equal in race, disability, gender

I nstil in my children self-worth, kindness and respect for others

O pen my heart to doing what God wants me to do

N etwork with others to learn more

 

I think my poem shows what I feel my purpose is for being on earth. It is goes hand-in-hand with the goals I have in the areas of my writing, youth work, advocacy for facial differences, disabilities and mental illnesses, and my desires for my children's characters. It also shows my Christian faith.

 

I'd love to hear what your mission in life is. Please leave a comment!