International Women's Day 2025 - Gender Equality in Action & Domestic Violence

I've been sitting here at my laptop as the lights flicker, the winds howl outside and the rain beats at the door. Ex-tropical Cyclone Alfred who pirouetted and spun out in the ocean before making landfall last night, is saying, 'I haven't gone yet!'

My daughter Jess, now nearly an adult, has just gone to bed. For the last half an hour she's been making her opinions known about domestic abuse. Why domestic abuse? Well, she was witness to the domestic violence in our household and knows that she's not to have a boyfriend who treats her badly ... and the TV was airing Queen Camilla's documentary around her endeavours to shine a light on domestic abuse in the UK. 

Queen Camilla speaks to domestic abuse survivors in 'powerful and emotional' ITV documentary | ITV News

I am guessing this documentary was planned to be screened today because it is International Women's Day and this year's theme is 'Let's Accelerate Action for Women's Equality'. We can't accelerate action if we're unaware of where action is needed. Domestic violence against women definitely needs more accelerated action. 

Before I delve into domestic violence, I feel it's worthwhile taking a few moments to stop and think about the state of equality of the sexes in Australia. How far has equality come? From the colonial and church ordained roots, to the different ways that religious and ethnic groups treat women. If we look at the general state of affairs in Australia, yes, we have drawn closer to our male counterparts ... We can vote. We can work. We've burnt our bras and don't have to wear one if we don't care to. Generally, our pay is the same, though there is disparity with lack of representation of women in senior positions and lower rates of superannuation due to child-rearing leave (Prime Minister Anthony Albanese brought in the Workplace Gender Equality Amendment (Closing the Gap) Bill 2023 to address these issues). We can choose our career, wear what we want, decide if we get married or have children, spend money on whatever takes our fancy and live where we desire. The world is our oyster. 

But if we dig deeper than the surface, what do we find?

The 2025 International Women's Day theme is here: 'March Forward'

Well, we find a high rate of domestic violence. In fact, 20% of partners have experienced partner violence since the age of 15 in Australia. That's millions of people. Domestic Violence Figures Australia | Safe Life And domestic violence affects both women and men. 

When we look deeper at the incidence of domestic violence statistics, we find:

* 2 in 5 women (39%) have experienced violence since the age of 15

* 1 in 2 women (53%) have experienced sexual harassment in their lifetime

* Violence affects all communities and cultures 

Oh my god! 2 in 5 women have experienced violence! These statistics are horrifying. 

So, why, if Australia has come so far in gender equality, does this violence towards women exist in our society at such high rates? 

On TV, at the moment, there are a couple of ads running ... one was just on. It was a consent ad - do we all know what consent is? The second is an advertisement aimed at boys and young men and focuses on disrespect towards women and that parents, particularly fathers, should be keeping an eye on what their sons are watching. 

In the year 2025, why is this happening? 

Why Australia’s domestic violence problem is complicated

From what I can find, there doesn't seem to be a clear cut reason why domestic violence is so high in Australia. Is it that men feel they are losing their power? Is it the rise in online pornography or other toxic graphic material? Is it society's general lack of respect for others? Is it the cost of living pressures?

One of the reasons that's been identified is the online world. The statistics report that 25% of teenage boys in Australia have accessed content from toxic social media personalities who perpetuate harmful gender stereotypes. And they don't have to go far! On my Instagram feed, scantily clad women, with their genitals barely covered, bare themselves provocatively. I am disgusted that women feel they need to do this. It makes women into meat to be salivated at. Women are more than their bodies. They have minds and hearts and souls.

FDSV summary - Australian Institute of Health and Welfare

Another reason identified for the rise in domestic violence, is society's generally accepted attitudes towards women. Attitudes like these from the FDSV summary:

* 25% of people surveyed believed that women who do not leave their abusive partners are partly responsible for violence continuing

*23% believed domestic violence is a normal reaction to day-to-day stress

*19% believed that sometimes a woman can make a man so angry he hits her without meaning to

If our society believes these lies and many others, it is going to take a very long time for significant changes to occur. 

We have to take our heads out of the sand! We must keep on partitioning the government for greater laws to protect women; and we must talk to our girls, our teens, our young women, so they know what domestic violence and coercive control is and the warning signs. I certainly didn't know as a teen what a healthy relationship looked like. Girls and women must be taught how to get help. And most importantly, women need to know that they are valuable human beings. No one has the right to disrespect them, hurt them, control them ... abuse them. 

So, on this International Women's Day 2025, I count my blessings as I shut down my laptop and make my way to bed. My safe bed where I sleep soundly, with my dog curled up against me. In the bedroom where once I detested the man who lay beside me because of what he was doing to me and my family. 

This blog is not about my marriage, or the one before which was coercive control, or about my low self-worth that led me into their marriages. It's not about my three children who were victims and will carry visible and invisible scars with them for the rest of their lives. It's not about how I have educated the three of them on what domestic violence and coercive control are, and what a healthy relationship looks like... Or maybe this blog is,,,

I, Jenny Woolsey, on this International Women's Day 2025, do solemnly pledge that I will continue educating and sharing with women and men about what domestic violence and coercive control are, the cycle of abuse and how much better it is out of those relationships. Will you?

If you want to know more about domestic violence and strategies to lead your best life, check out my latest book, Be Weirdly Wonderful! Embrace your differences. Available from all good online bookstores and from me. 

www.jennywoolsey.com

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Violence

V is for Violence

My husband came to Australia in 1999. At the time he made the comment on how different Australia was to the USA. It was different in regards to the fact that our community was racially white, there was very little crime reported on the news, and it was safe to walk around our suburb alone.

Last night we were watching the news and my husband made the statement. 'Now we're getting like America.' He was referring to the fact that crime and violence have increased. Instead of a few random incidents from around Australia, we are inundated every night with multiple incidents from each state. And the worrying trend is that the perpetrators are getting younger. Just a couple of days ago a twelve-year-old stabbed a ten-year-old. Having been a teacher in the public system this does not surprise me. I taught children of that age who I thought were capable of committing crimes.

I thought I'd investigate my husband's feelings, and went to the Australian Bureau of Statistics. His feelings were validated. The report on Offenders said that over the last four years there has been a steady increase, which is compounded by the increase in population.

ABS - Recorded Crime - Offenders

So why?  What is happening to our society? Is it that people are coming from many different countries so there are racial or other tensions? Or people are coming from countries where crime is a normal part of life and they bring that way of life here? Is it the government's preoccupation with making mothers and fathers work, and their push to put children in childcare which are often run by young girls, who are not mothers themselves? Is it society's lack of discipline for young people? Is it marriage breakdowns and lack of role models for boys? Is it that young people don't know how to amuse themselves in a safe manner? Is it TV or the movies where violence is often portrayed? Is it the video games people play? Is it the rise in alcohol and drug abuse? Is it addiction to gambling? Is it the lack of jobs and the high unemployment rates, and the subsequent financial pressures? Maybe it's the complex interrelationships of all these things.

The Australian Bureau of Statistics identified illicit drugs as being the most common offence, particularly in the 20-24 year age group. Drugs have become the scourge of society.

There is one thing that has changed since 1999 which is positive. And that is the awareness and speaking out on domestic violence. I was a victim of domestic violence. I didn't know it was domestic violence at the time as I'd never heard the term or knew what it was. I just knew that the way my husband treated me was sucking the life out of me. I didn't know that the threats he gave me when I said I was leaving, was a common thing in a domestic violence situation. He told me that if I left him then he would come after me and get me and drag me back home, as I belonged to him. Fortunately, just before I took my own life, an opportunity arose where I could escape, and with the support of my parents and a friend, I was able to be protected and supported. It still stays with me though. It has been nearly twenty years but I still get panic attacks when I see a man who looks similar to my ex-. After my divorce came through in 1999, I started noticing ads on TV talking about domestic violence. I remember staring at the TV in shock and saying out loud, 'That's what I've been through.'

I also looked at the statistics for domestic violence on the Australian Bureau of Statistics website. The stats showed that it is on the increase.

ABS - Recorded Crime - Victims

Last year a friend was murdered by her partner. How many more women, and men, are going to die in these toxic homes? And why is domestic violence on the rise? Is it because women now know it's a crime and are reporting it? Is it because there is still a major lack of respect for women? (Men and women can be victims of DV). Is it because DV Orders are often ignored and police can't do anything unless a crime is committed, and then often it is too late? Or is it a combination of the issues raised above or is there something else seriously lacking in our society?

I have lots of questions but I do not have the answers. If things continue the way they are, what will our society be like in another twenty years?

In our communities across the country, we need the kind and generous and good people, of which there are many. We need those people to stand up and be seen. Yes, there are plenty of people who have morals and would rather help people than hurt them, but they're not heard about very often. The media needs to take more time to focus on these angels of our society. Maybe if the great things that are happening were promoted, then more positive things would happen. What if the first ten minutes of the news was a report of the wonderful things that had happened that day around Australia, instead of the crimes and violence? It's a thought...