You

Y is for You

When you look in the mirror, and stare at yourself, going past your physical looks, who do you see? Who is your true self?

Who are you? What makes you, you? Why are you, you?

Something I have done on many occasions, is to ponder why am I in this body? Why couldn’t I have been put in another body? Why wasn’t I born in another country? I’ve even pondered what it would be like to be in someone else’s body. Would I appreciate my life more? 

 Have you ever had the same or a similar thought?

Since my breakdown in 2013 I have been seeing a psychologist. Something we’ve worked on over that time is getting to my core. What thoughts about myself do I carry around from childhood, which have been reinforced by a variety of circumstances throughout my life, which affect my behaviour and how I feel about myself?

One of these core thoughts is not feeling valuable. Growing up being told by society that I was different and shouldn’t be out in the world still lurks in my subconscious. This core thought was reinforced by bullying, being in a domestic violence marriage, work difficulties and lack of opportunities which were given to other people which I thought I would have been capable of doing.  It is a core thought that I must actively work against accepting. I tell other people that because they are human they are valuable, yet my own core feeling is that I am not. That doesn’t even make sense when I say that. Do you have any negative core thoughts about yourself?

There are so many things we pick up from our family, school, our friends, wider society and work. These all mash together to make us into our true self. 

I found an article online about discovering yourself. Under each thing is a list of questions you can ponder. They made me think and I realised from answering them that I know a lot about my true self which is really nice! So I hope they will have the affect on you. Have a read and tell me what you think.

7 Things you need to discover about your true self

1) Find your values. These are the things that matter most to you on the deepest levels. What are your personal values and standards? What are your priorities and your beliefs? Do you understand why these things are important to you? What level of commitment are you willing to make to your personal standards and ethics? How true do you want to be to your true self?

2) Understand your strengths.  What natural abilities do you possess and which ones do you want to cultivate and develop? The strengths you have and those you develop are your personal assets. They give you a unique position in life and you need to be aware of them. This includes your emotional strengths and your ability to express love and appreciation.

3) Know your passions.  What are you passionate about? What is it that gets you excited or demands your undivided attention? What activities and pursuits make you feel really alive? You can’t build your life around your passions if you haven’t figured out what they are. Making sure that your passions align with your values and standards is vital when trying to create internal harmony.

4) Identify your tendencies. Your tendencies often become habits, either good or bad. Do you tend to jump into things on a whim? Do you procrastinate or over react? Knowing your habitual tendencies can help you to analyze areas that need some improvement. It can also help you identify which tendencies most contribute to your strengths and successes.

5) Acknowledge your limitations. You will never be the very best at everything. It’s better to know which skills or activities are beyond your ability for now. That way you can delegate those things to others while you focus your energy where it’s the most effective. We can all improve our abilities in most areas of life, so don’t view current limitations as permanent. Just be realistic in your personal assessment. Honesty is a prerequisite to knowing your true self.

6) Set your goals. What do you really want to achieve? What kind of person do you want to grow into? Goals need to be specific, measurable, achievable, and realistic. Clarity is a key ingredient when it comes to setting your goals. Clarity leads to action, lack of clarity leads to confusion and inaction.

7) Establish your direction. Where in life does your true self want to take you? Once you understand your values, strengths, passions, tendencies, limitations and goals – you need to have a destination to move toward, a direction. Don’t worry about reaching your destination because in reality – it’s the journey that counts. So pick a direction that represents genuine happiness and move toward it, and then let life unfold before you.

http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/know-your-true-self/

I think finding your true self is a journey. It starts with our search for our self-idenity as a teenager and continues on throughout the various stages of life. I also think once you know your true self – the real you – the one behind all of the masks you wear - you will feel more at peace with yourself, and you can actively reject the negative core feelings you have about yourself. You will also understand why you react to situations in a certain way, and you will have more control over your emotional and physical wellbeing.That has to mean a happier life.

Answer the following...Who are you?

Jenny Woolsey is loved and determined.

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