I've been sitting here at my laptop as the lights flicker, the winds howl outside and the rain beats at the door. Ex-tropical Cyclone Alfred who pirouetted and spun out in the ocean before making landfall last night, is saying, 'I haven't gone yet!'
My daughter Jess, now nearly an adult, has just gone to bed. For the last half an hour she's been making her opinions known about domestic abuse. Why domestic abuse? Well, she was witness to the domestic violence in our household and knows that she's not to have a boyfriend who treats her badly ... and the TV was airing Queen Camilla's documentary around her endeavours to shine a light on domestic abuse in the UK.
I am guessing this documentary was planned to be screened today because it is International Women's Day and this year's theme is 'Let's Accelerate Action for Women's Equality'. We can't accelerate action if we're unaware of where action is needed. Domestic violence against women definitely needs more accelerated action.
Before I delve into domestic violence, I feel it's worthwhile taking a few moments to stop and think about the state of equality of the sexes in Australia. How far has equality come? From the colonial and church ordained roots, to the different ways that religious and ethnic groups treat women. If we look at the general state of affairs in Australia, yes, we have drawn closer to our male counterparts ... We can vote. We can work. We've burnt our bras and don't have to wear one if we don't care to. Generally, our pay is the same, though there is disparity with lack of representation of women in senior positions and lower rates of superannuation due to child-rearing leave (Prime Minister Anthony Albanese brought in the Workplace Gender Equality Amendment (Closing the Gap) Bill 2023 to address these issues). We can choose our career, wear what we want, decide if we get married or have children, spend money on whatever takes our fancy and live where we desire. The world is our oyster.
But if we dig deeper than the surface, what do we find?
The 2025 International Women's Day theme is here: 'March Forward'
Well, we find a high rate of domestic violence. In fact, 20% of partners have experienced partner violence since the age of 15 in Australia. That's millions of people. Domestic Violence Figures Australia | Safe Life And domestic violence affects both women and men.
When we look deeper at the incidence of domestic violence statistics, we find:
* 2 in 5 women (39%) have experienced violence since the age of 15
* 1 in 2 women (53%) have experienced sexual harassment in their lifetime
* Violence affects all communities and cultures
Oh my god! 2 in 5 women have experienced violence! These statistics are horrifying.
So, why, if Australia has come so far in gender equality, does this violence towards women exist in our society at such high rates?
On TV, at the moment, there are a couple of ads running ... one was just on. It was a consent ad - do we all know what consent is? The second is an advertisement aimed at boys and young men and focuses on disrespect towards women and that parents, particularly fathers, should be keeping an eye on what their sons are watching.
In the year 2025, why is this happening?
Why Australia’s domestic violence problem is complicated
From what I can find, there doesn't seem to be a clear cut reason why domestic violence is so high in Australia. Is it that men feel they are losing their power? Is it the rise in online pornography or other toxic graphic material? Is it society's general lack of respect for others? Is it the cost of living pressures?
One of the reasons that's been identified is the online world. The statistics report that 25% of teenage boys in Australia have accessed content from toxic social media personalities who perpetuate harmful gender stereotypes. And they don't have to go far! On my Instagram feed, scantily clad women, with their genitals barely covered, bare themselves provocatively. I am disgusted that women feel they need to do this. It makes women into meat to be salivated at. Women are more than their bodies. They have minds and hearts and souls.
FDSV summary - Australian Institute of Health and Welfare
Another reason identified for the rise in domestic violence, is society's generally accepted attitudes towards women. Attitudes like these from the FDSV summary:
* 25% of people surveyed believed that women who do not leave their abusive partners are partly responsible for violence continuing
*23% believed domestic violence is a normal reaction to day-to-day stress
*19% believed that sometimes a woman can make a man so angry he hits her without meaning to
If our society believes these lies and many others, it is going to take a very long time for significant changes to occur.
We have to take our heads out of the sand! We must keep on partitioning the government for greater laws to protect women; and we must talk to our girls, our teens, our young women, so they know what domestic violence and coercive control is and the warning signs. I certainly didn't know as a teen what a healthy relationship looked like. Girls and women must be taught how to get help. And most importantly, women need to know that they are valuable human beings. No one has the right to disrespect them, hurt them, control them ... abuse them.
So, on this International Women's Day 2025, I count my blessings as I shut down my laptop and make my way to bed. My safe bed where I sleep soundly, with my dog curled up against me. In the bedroom where once I detested the man who lay beside me because of what he was doing to me and my family.
This blog is not about my marriage, or the one before which was coercive control, or about my low self-worth that led me into their marriages. It's not about my three children who were victims and will carry visible and invisible scars with them for the rest of their lives. It's not about how I have educated the three of them on what domestic violence and coercive control are, and what a healthy relationship looks like... Or maybe this blog is,,,
I, Jenny Woolsey, on this International Women's Day 2025, do solemnly pledge that I will continue educating and sharing with women and men about what domestic violence and coercive control are, the cycle of abuse and how much better it is out of those relationships. Will you?
If you want to know more about domestic violence and strategies to lead your best life, check out my latest book, Be Weirdly Wonderful! Embrace your differences. Available from all good online bookstores and from me.
www.jennywoolsey.com
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